SMUG's Power User Quiz
Author: Kevin Savetz
Date: December, 1993
Keywords: SMUG user group Humor
Text: At SMUG's recent 100th-member party, several of us took a vast amount of time (oh, about three minutes) to construct the official SMUG power user quiz. This set of questions will separate the Mac real nerds from the wannabes. The quiz is 50 questions; it could easily have been 500. We left out questions like ''Subtract 500 points if your Mac's monitor is encased in one of those evil cardboard 'Screenies' frames.'' So, each question is worth one point unless otherwise indicated. Enjoy. 1. Start with one point if you know what ''SMUG'' stands for. 2. Add a point if you know (no looking!) the name of the SMUG newsletter. 3. Give yourself a point if you use a Macintosh. 4. Give yourself a point if you have more than one. 5. Subtract a point if you own an IBM-compatible. 6. For two points: What does ''SCSI'' stand for? 7. Subtract two points if the name of your hard disk is still ''HD80'', ''Macintosh Hard Disk'' or is otherwise unchanged from the day you bought it. 8. Give yourself a point if you have ever left your Mac on all night. 9. Give yourself two points if you were using it all night! 10. Give yourself a point if your spouse/significant other/roommate has threatened your bodily health unless you go to bed now. 11. Give yourself a point if you use Virtual Memory. 12. Give yourself two points if you don't need to! 13. Add a point if you've ever used ResEdit. 14. Add a point if you use it on a regular basis. 15. Add a point if you've ever crashed your System while using it. 16. Give yourself a point if you own an Apple, Newton, BMUG or other patently nerdy T-shirt. 17. Give yourself a point if you wear it in public. 18. Give yourself a point if you drink Jolt cola. 19. Give yourself a point if you know when SMUGgler's BBS first went online. 20. Give yourself a point if you've heard of the program ''Karma Manager.'' 21. Add another point if you've used it to find a hidden message in your name. 22. Give yourself a point if you use a modem, and one bonus point if it's over 2400 baud. 23. Do you know SMUGgler's BBS phone number? 24. Do you know a local Tymnet number by memory? 25. Do you know the code to turn off a modem speaker? 26. Add a point if you know what ''SIMM'' stands for. 27. Add two points if you have ever replaced your own SIMM chips. 28. Ever used a Newton? 29. Owned a Newton? 30. Programmed a Newton? 31. Add a point for every mouse that you have worn out. 32. Add a point for the number of successive SMUG meetings you've attended without missing any. 33. Add a point if you know what MacsBug is. 34. Add two points if you've ever used it. 35. Add a point if you used the other MacsBug program (1987). What did it do? Add one bonus point if you know what the "Mac" in the original MacsBug stood for. (Hint: it didn't stand for Macintosh.) 36. Give yourself a point if you know what this animal is called. [Picture of DogCow included] 37. Give yourself three points if you know what the first issue of the SMUG newsletter was called, and one bonus point if you know the date. 38. Subtract a point if you still balance your checkbook by hand. 39. Subtract a point if you still use a Rolodex. 40. Subtract a point if you still use a traditional dictionary instead of a software one. 41. Subtract a point if your Mac's screen background is dull gray. 42. Has your Mac ever surprised you with a ''Sad Mac'' on startup? 43. Have you ever heard ''the chimes of death?'' 44. Have you ever written a review for the SMUG newsletter? 45. Was it late? (Subtract one point. You knew it would come back to haunt you, right?) 46. Have you ever made your Mac print the words ''Hello, World!''? 46. Do you have more than 30 fonts installed? 47. Have you ever digitized your own system beep sound? 48. Give yourself a sympathy point if you own(ed) a Mac IIvx. 49. Give yourself 2 sympathy points if you own(ed) a Mac Portable. 50. Give yourself 3 points if you tallied your score in hexadecimal or octal. Answers... 1. Sequoia Macintosh Users' Group. 2. Known Users. 6. Small computer systems interface. 19. June 9, 1993. 18. Karma Manager is a shareware program used to find anagrams in text. The name is an anagram for (what else) ''Anagram Maker.'' 26. Single in-line memory module. 33. Programmer's debugging tool. 35. It was one of the first screen saver programs. Mac stood for Motorola's animated clock. 36. The DogCow; named Clarus; goes "Moof!" 37. Field and Screen, January 1985.
Copyright © december, 1993 by Kevin Savetz